One week from now I'll be running the streets of Pittsburgh! The race officially starts at 7:00AM, and I have no idea how long it will take to get through the start line but I'd imagine by 8:30 I'd have at least 2 miles behind me. I cannot believe how close it is!
Last week I did a training run with Monica, one of the women who running the relay with our women's team, and Samone one of our women on staff who is also on the relay team. We ran Monica's leg of the relay which is also the first 5.5 miles of the half and full marathon. Because we will both be running this leg in its entirety, I think I'll actually be running with Monica next week (assuming I can find her in the crowd - last year 25,000 runners attended!). I'm really grateful for that opportunity. It will be not only some encouragement for us both as we run, but for me it will be a great reminder of why I'm running.
Watching Monica run has been a really fun experience for me. She is in her 50s, a regular smoker, and she doesn't exercise except for walking Downtown. When we run together we go slowly and we take a few walking breaks. But Monica has the heart for running that I want to have. As we were on a walking break last Tuesday she said "Okay you are walking too slow, we have to run fast! This is a marathon!" And when we had walked long enough that I thought I could push her to run a little more, she'd be jogging before I even finished asking "Do you want to run a few blocks now?". Literally. I mean she literally started before I could finish that question.
Monica wants to make changes in her life. She wants to be healthier, get and apartment with a kitchen (she rents a room without one now), and live more like Christ every single day.
A lot of times I think that the work I do should encourage the homeless. That by showing up in the shelter and getting to know the people there and sharing a Bible study that they can have hope. And that's true, there is a unique and perfect hope that comes from Christ and I am blessed to be able to share it. But often, very often, I think about these men and women and I am the one encouraged. By their strength, by their knowledge, by their fight, their passion, their honesty. I find myself wanting to be more like the homeless in a lot of ways. It's really a pleasure to be able to run so that I can continue to serve them.
I am so looking forward to running these first 5.5 with Monica next week. I want to be in my 50s telling other people to pick up the pace one day! I can't think of a better way to start this half marathon.
And hey! If you're in Pittsburgh come out and cheer us on! You can find a map of my course here, and if you want to catch some of our relay team you can find the map for the full marathon here. Seeing some familiar faces will really let me know I'm not alone on those last 8 miles!
And of course, if you'd like to sponsor me as I run next weekend for LIVING Ministry, you can visit our website. Make sure to mention Jenna B Marathon in the comment section so that we know how to categorize your donation. One week to go and our team is 66% of our total fundraising goal!
Thank you all for the support and encouragement. In the time it's taken to write this I should have run about 2 more miles....only 9 more to go ;) Wish me luck!
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
My Actual Husband
Today I ran with Greg. When we started dating we made a goal not to be those people. We wanted people to feel comfortable hanging out with us, even if there was just us and one friend, nobody ever should feel like a third wheel. Well right now I'm going to be that wife. Just for a second and then I promise, back to business as usual.
Greg is awesome. There are times when I think to myself...how the heck did this guy marry me?! Today was one of these times.
I had to run tonight but I just wasn't feeling it. I was weirdly moody when he got home (I think it was from me trying to learn how to play chess...not a joke that got me so frustrated!) and I was really not into going running. So Greg went with me.
Together we ran just under 4 miles (3.93), I had to walk about a quarter mile (in three small breaks) because I got a pretty bad side sticker but mostly I was able to keep going, and this was one of my best runs ever!
This is how I know Greg loves me: he saw me feeling down and he said he'd go with me. He saw me when I wasn't doing well and he let me walk, but not long enough to turn into a quitter. He has compassion and patience and he runs slower than he would on his own because he knows my need.
When I think about how much I love marriage, I'm just blown away by the love of the Father. Because here is the reality: as much as Greg loves me, it isn't as much as Christ does. I think it's hard for us to imagine being loved as much as God loves us because His greatest display of love for us was over 2,000 years ago. He doesn't physically run alongside of me and tell me I'm doing great, just a few more blocks. He doesn't do those things because he saw us in a much greater mess than not wanting to run tonight and said "you're not doing so great, you've got farther to go than you can ever go on your own, let me run it for you".
That is love. Sharing that love is why I run.
Greg is awesome. There are times when I think to myself...how the heck did this guy marry me?! Today was one of these times.
I had to run tonight but I just wasn't feeling it. I was weirdly moody when he got home (I think it was from me trying to learn how to play chess...not a joke that got me so frustrated!) and I was really not into going running. So Greg went with me.
Together we ran just under 4 miles (3.93), I had to walk about a quarter mile (in three small breaks) because I got a pretty bad side sticker but mostly I was able to keep going, and this was one of my best runs ever!
This is how I know Greg loves me: he saw me feeling down and he said he'd go with me. He saw me when I wasn't doing well and he let me walk, but not long enough to turn into a quitter. He has compassion and patience and he runs slower than he would on his own because he knows my need.
When I think about how much I love marriage, I'm just blown away by the love of the Father. Because here is the reality: as much as Greg loves me, it isn't as much as Christ does. I think it's hard for us to imagine being loved as much as God loves us because His greatest display of love for us was over 2,000 years ago. He doesn't physically run alongside of me and tell me I'm doing great, just a few more blocks. He doesn't do those things because he saw us in a much greater mess than not wanting to run tonight and said "you're not doing so great, you've got farther to go than you can ever go on your own, let me run it for you".
That is love. Sharing that love is why I run.
Don't forget that you can share this love with the homeless too! By supporting me as I run, you are funding LIVING Ministry and our work sharing the Gospel in the shelters of Pittsburgh. Donate online here (mention Jenna B in the comment section!) or by mail to LIVING Ministry at 2536 Maple Ave Pittsburgh PA 15214.
Monday, April 8, 2013
My Other Husband
Well folks - I'm well overdue for a post and an apology. When I started training for the Pittsburgh half marathon in January, I had a lot of ideas about what these months would look like. I had dreams of running an easy 5 miles on Tuesday and Thursday and gritting my teeth and conquering a 9 on Saturday. I thought I'd write so many blog posts you'd all get tired of me. I saw myself changing my eating habits and losing 5 pounds.....it turns out all of these goals were much more difficult than I thought they would be.
The last few months have been a real struggle for me in my running.
I don't know why it happened, but I really just hit a wall at 3 miles. I was embarrassed so I stopped blogging about it and started joking when people asked me how training was going. I lost all my accountability just out of pride. I felt like anybody could run 3 miles if they really tried but the thing was, I was really trying and it just wasn't going very well at all.
This got to me. I was going to the gym two or three times a week and just wasn't getting better, it really didn't make me just jump out of bed in the morning excited to hit the treadmill. I started to really dread the runs, long and short. So while I was physically putting in the time, (and a lot of time at that!), my mind was so removed that things actually started to get worse. I "couldn't" run 2 miles anymore but I was at the gym all the time. Greg started calling running my other husband. He was right too! I was cancelling dinner plans, not getting to Bible study, and always showing up late to things I had committed to because I was always at the gym. He took a back seat to my running and I wasn't even improving.
So what the heck happened?!?
Well, I'm pretty sure I just let my mind get out of control. Then one day I realized that all the reasons I had for training at all had fallen from my mind. I wasn't running to raise money for L.I.V.I.N.G. Ministry, or to honor the Lord, or to start to like running. I wasn't even running to fit into cute boots in the fall! I was running because I "had to". This was my thought process during almost every run from mid February through late March:
If I didn't get the miles in I wouldn't finish the training plan.
If I didn't finish the training plan I wouldn't be able to run the full 13.1.
If I didn't run the full 13.1 I would have done all this for nothing.
I can't run the full 13.1 anyway, I'm already doing this for nothing.
Well if it's all a waste of time anyway, I'll just walk the rest of today's distance.
I feel awful for walking. I'm a failure. I will now cry on the ride home about what I did not achieve.
Here's what then dawned on me: Running because I "have to" is toxic. It steals my joy, it doesn't glorify God, and it won't help me meet any of my goals. I want to be a person who likes to run and this wasn't the way to be come that person.
So I made a new plan:
This is what I've been doing for the last two weeks. I'm back over 2 miles again, and while I will probably have to walk a little bit on Marathon day I am finally excited again!
I'm training better than I have all year and I feel more confident than I did two months ago, this is the breakthrough I needed. Six weeks ago if you asked me how far I thought I'd run on race day I'd have hoped for 5 or 6 miles and I was so ashamed I didn't even want to tell people about it. Today I think I can make it pretty far: maybe even 10 or 11! Phillipians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength, and with Christ's strength I may even be able to pull out a full 13.1! All I know is that I am finally running in a way that is sustainable and exciting.
One more thought before I wrap up and this one is important.
When I got to that last thought (I feel awful for walking. I'm a failure. I will now cry on the ride home about what I did not achieve) I got to an attitude nobody should have, especially not a follower of Christ. I know that I am unable to achieve anything on my own. I can't run a half marathon, I can't have a healthy marriage, I can't even wake up and lie down on my own power. What I'm most certain of, I could never measure up to the standard of perfection that Christs asks of his children (Matthew 5:48 - You must therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect).
What I do know is that it is the power of Christ that does these things in our lives. When God the Father looks at me, he sees the perfection of Christ and not my failures (of which there are many). When Christ went to the cross, he took on all sin for all eternity: right down to my laziness about running and the pride that kept me from sharing my struggle.
And this is why I'm running at all - because this is the Good News that I am blessed to share with the homeless in Pittsburgh, and blessed to share with you too! The good news that even when we fail, and we will fail, Christ steps in. We are perfect because Christ is perfect, and all we need to do is allow him to be our perfection.
So tomorrow as I go for my run, I will run with the imperfect steps of a lazy sinner with too much pride. But my pride and my laziness are being broken through the power of Christ, and my steps, both physically and spiritually, are becoming perfect through this miracle. I hope that your steps are becoming perfect too.
The last few months have been a real struggle for me in my running.
I don't know why it happened, but I really just hit a wall at 3 miles. I was embarrassed so I stopped blogging about it and started joking when people asked me how training was going. I lost all my accountability just out of pride. I felt like anybody could run 3 miles if they really tried but the thing was, I was really trying and it just wasn't going very well at all.
This got to me. I was going to the gym two or three times a week and just wasn't getting better, it really didn't make me just jump out of bed in the morning excited to hit the treadmill. I started to really dread the runs, long and short. So while I was physically putting in the time, (and a lot of time at that!), my mind was so removed that things actually started to get worse. I "couldn't" run 2 miles anymore but I was at the gym all the time. Greg started calling running my other husband. He was right too! I was cancelling dinner plans, not getting to Bible study, and always showing up late to things I had committed to because I was always at the gym. He took a back seat to my running and I wasn't even improving.
So what the heck happened?!?
Well, I'm pretty sure I just let my mind get out of control. Then one day I realized that all the reasons I had for training at all had fallen from my mind. I wasn't running to raise money for L.I.V.I.N.G. Ministry, or to honor the Lord, or to start to like running. I wasn't even running to fit into cute boots in the fall! I was running because I "had to". This was my thought process during almost every run from mid February through late March:
If I didn't get the miles in I wouldn't finish the training plan.
If I didn't finish the training plan I wouldn't be able to run the full 13.1.
If I didn't run the full 13.1 I would have done all this for nothing.
I can't run the full 13.1 anyway, I'm already doing this for nothing.
Well if it's all a waste of time anyway, I'll just walk the rest of today's distance.
I feel awful for walking. I'm a failure. I will now cry on the ride home about what I did not achieve.
Here's what then dawned on me: Running because I "have to" is toxic. It steals my joy, it doesn't glorify God, and it won't help me meet any of my goals. I want to be a person who likes to run and this wasn't the way to be come that person.
So I made a new plan:
Run as far as I can; and if I can, try to go farther than the last time. That's it. Just run. No mandatory distance, no time limits, just run until I can't run anymore. Run and feel some joy, run and see some improvement, run and pray and thank God for a body healthy enough to run at all.
This is what I've been doing for the last two weeks. I'm back over 2 miles again, and while I will probably have to walk a little bit on Marathon day I am finally excited again!
I'm training better than I have all year and I feel more confident than I did two months ago, this is the breakthrough I needed. Six weeks ago if you asked me how far I thought I'd run on race day I'd have hoped for 5 or 6 miles and I was so ashamed I didn't even want to tell people about it. Today I think I can make it pretty far: maybe even 10 or 11! Phillipians 4:13 reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength, and with Christ's strength I may even be able to pull out a full 13.1! All I know is that I am finally running in a way that is sustainable and exciting.
One more thought before I wrap up and this one is important.
When I got to that last thought (I feel awful for walking. I'm a failure. I will now cry on the ride home about what I did not achieve) I got to an attitude nobody should have, especially not a follower of Christ. I know that I am unable to achieve anything on my own. I can't run a half marathon, I can't have a healthy marriage, I can't even wake up and lie down on my own power. What I'm most certain of, I could never measure up to the standard of perfection that Christs asks of his children (Matthew 5:48 - You must therefore be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect).
What I do know is that it is the power of Christ that does these things in our lives. When God the Father looks at me, he sees the perfection of Christ and not my failures (of which there are many). When Christ went to the cross, he took on all sin for all eternity: right down to my laziness about running and the pride that kept me from sharing my struggle.
And this is why I'm running at all - because this is the Good News that I am blessed to share with the homeless in Pittsburgh, and blessed to share with you too! The good news that even when we fail, and we will fail, Christ steps in. We are perfect because Christ is perfect, and all we need to do is allow him to be our perfection.
So tomorrow as I go for my run, I will run with the imperfect steps of a lazy sinner with too much pride. But my pride and my laziness are being broken through the power of Christ, and my steps, both physically and spiritually, are becoming perfect through this miracle. I hope that your steps are becoming perfect too.
If you would like to financially support me as I share this great news through my work at LIVING Ministry, you can donate online here, mentioning "Jenna B Half Marathon" in the comment section. Using our website has the lowest processing fee available for online donations. To make a donation with no processing fee at all (your whole donation goes right to the Ministry!) you can mail a check to LIVING Ministry at 2536 Maple Ave, Pittsburgh PA 15214. Thank you for your support!
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